I don’t know about you, but when I’m surrounded by chaos and noise, I become completely overwhelmed. A lot of times that’s physical noise, but I also get overwhelmed by the non-physical noise.

As a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, I work with a wide range of clients. I see a lot of mothers who work outside the home in addition to managing their household. As one of these women, I can attest to the exhausting nature of mental load. No one understands quite like us what that means. With the mental load often comes a ton of guilt.

Conflict happens in all relationships—whether that’s with your partner, bestie, or mom. It’s hard to know how to respond to conflict. Some of us hide in the corner at the mere mention of confrontation and some of us grab the boxing gloves and get right in that ring. No matter which conflict style you use, most of the time there’s room for improvement.

It’s hard as a therapist to hear that therapy doesn’t work for some people. Of course my hope is that it works for all people! I think it’s important to examine some of the reasons therapy doesn’t work. Here are some of the common pitfalls I hear from folks.

Imagine this: you’ve just spent 2 weeks pretending like the world was on pause. You ate what you wanted, drank what you wanted, threw caution to the wind when it comes to working out/fitness goals, and you emerge from this hazy holiday joy (or dread depending on how you view it)…and now you’re expected to eat salads, workout 5 times a week, do all the healthy coping you can imagine during the deadass cold of winter and darkest time of the year!? Come on. That’s a recipe for disaster for anyone. And for those of us who struggle with high expectations for ourselves, it’s a recipe for lots of negative self-talk to ring in the new year. I encourage you to do something different this year.